Anonymous » #16059

This is a difficult exchange, because as a dom you get off on putting someone in their place, and the other person gets off on being put in their place. But, when the other person is loving it too much, it can start to feel like topping from the bottom. You're made to feel like a puppet simply helping them achieve their submissive fantasy. So, they get off completely and love it, but you sort of "blue ball" from trying to act dominant but the sub constantly undercutting the situation with little laughs or snickers or such that make it clear they know there's limits. Often this is the situation where a sub has given "hard limits" that are highly in their comfort zone. So, no face slapping or anything hardcore to really put them in their place and sober them up to the role-play. So, the sub ended up undercutting their own experience by creating TOO safe of an environment.. one where they know you're gonng bark real loud, but have no real bite..so they snicker and don't take it seriously. This diminishes it greatly for the dom, but it also means the sub isn't really pushing their own boundaries and digging deep to enjoy it. Part of the joy of BDSM is pushing your limits in a safe environment and really getting into teh moment. Can't do that as a dom with a sub that knows they're too safe, and a sub can't do that when tehy don't challenge themselves to really let go and give in.